The story is opening out amazingly. I finally have a clue about what Stewart does for a living - that is, besides stashing hot properties. It turns out that Stewart is (or was) a teacher. Eva gets him to tutor her children (Malcolm and Fine). Now Jenny, when you read Thursday, the image of the fish orbiting Miriam's galaxy stuck with me. That, along with some character inventories I'd been working on, is what opened the whole thing up. I'm certain of it. (No problems with the cheese here)
Barbara, I like the image of two skinny people in bed as toothpicks wrapped up in a napkin. For me, it is details like this which (that?) make your writing sing.
Adam, I agree with Barbara about the backstoryish sound of the thing you read Thursay. You don't have to change the POV (unless you want to) but it is possible to shift the narrative load in that direction. Of course, it may not be possible to see through to the actual mechanics until rewrite. Write on.
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