Great to be Writing Again

Nice description Barbara--perhaps it's the amount on snow on the ground, but I loved the grassy smell and can't wait until Spring.

Write About a Time When Someone Said No

It was only when I began to say yes to myself that I was able to say no to others. You would think it would have been easy, but it wasn't. Mamma always taught me that a lady never says no; only when her physical safety is in danger. But Mamma never considered that a lady's emotional safety was just as important, if not moreso. Perhaps it was because Mamma always taught me that a lady never shows her emotions. "A proper lady," she would tell me, "is constant, both in her actions and her reactions." My life, as a result, quickly became not my own.

For years I gently smiled and agreed to invitations I did not wish to accept, accepted requests to donate my time or my husband's money to causes that were not part of the beliefs that I still kept alive in the center of my heart. I upheld the image of happiness and love that others saw within my husband and I, although what I felt toward him and our marriage was sadness and resentment. Mamma would have been so proud.

It was after Mamma got sick and I went to her bedside to care for her that she gave me her final lesson. "Claire," she whispered between parched lips, "I was wrong. A proper lady is constant; constant to herself. Find the true happiness that I taught you to turn away from. Do this one thing for me." I gently smiled at Mamma and kissed her cheek with love as the life she led slipped away.

I stood up and walked away from her still form. My hand rested on the door frame as I looked at her one final time, "Yes Mamma. It is my turn to live now."