A Flash of Self-Awareness

I reread what I wrote on here yesterday (especially that paragraph about how sorry I am that I'm in the scrap heap days of my life now that the kids are adults and out there being all grown up and independent) and realized that I am in the throes of my annual, mid-winter, cabin-feverish depression, probably caused by low sunlight and the neverending cold. (also my full-spectrum "day" light bulb burned out the other day.  Gah!  I'm getting one later.)  That flash of self-awareness (heh, I just typed self-awareMess, which is probably quite a bit more apt, ask Durwood) has lifted me ever-so-slightly above the basement of my depression/recession/obsession so that the smallest of lights is shining in my day.  Also the sun was out for a while this morning so I bundled up and went out INTO THE SUNLIGHT to fill the feeders (it's cloudy now).  Even though it was something like -3 degrees I enjoyed it because the sun was shining upon me, reflecting off the blindingly white snow, and vitamin D was flooding my parched self.  (you take what you can get around here)  If it's ever 20 degrees around here in the morning again, I'll go back to walking Porter.

It was quiet at work yesterday, a couple customers came in and bought things and I finalized arrangements for a couple of refresher classes.  I'd like to be busier so can you please come in and buy a fin strap or snorkel keeper?  Maybe you could learn to SCUBA dive and come in for a whole lot of gear... but then you'd probably go on a fabulous vacation to someplace with warm, clear water, hot and cold running beach boys, and little drinks with fruit, rum, and paper umbrellas...and then I'd sink even lower into the pit of envy than I already do when vacationers come in.  Yeah, maybe you shouldn't.

February 4--Egypt, Faience Sistrum Inscribed with the name of Ptolemy I.  The little face of the pharaoh looked out at Laine from the jumble of beads and trinkets.  She wasn't a real fan of the color blue but the turquoise faience reminded her of the color of the water over her favorite Caribbean reef so she bought it.  It only cost a few dollars and would be the perfect souvenir.  She liked the weight of the small thing and how it fit neatly in the palm of her hand.  She would never have bought it if she'd known the trouble it would cause.

Time to go make something of today.  There will be check cashing and errand running and, I hope, some couch sitting.  It is my day off, after all.
--Barbara